Our Leah is a month old today! YAY!
But that's not what I came to post about.
I do believe our child becomes possessed at night sometimes. She eats, then screams, then falls asleep for 30 secconds, then screams, then looks wide eyed and awake, then screams. I hate it. I hate that I get frustrated and angry and that I cant soothe her. I hate that I cant fucking breastfeed like every other freaking new mom. I hate that im angry right now. I hate that Jason and I are getting upset with each other in response to this all. This has been happening for a freaking month. She's had a handful of good 'normal baby' happy days. Im so fucking pissed that in less than a week I'll have to go back to work and my poor husband will have to go it alone during the day. She's a handful and I'm really worried that it will be too much to handle for him. I know he's fully capabale, but I swear anyone after an hour of her screaming will understand. I love my baby, and have no intentions of going into post partum depressionville, but im just trying to keep my emotions in check right now and its very hard when she's in the other room still crying when she's supposed to be sleeping.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thoughts and a smidgen of an update (hey its late, i need sleep!)
I was sitting here tonight while breast pumping and got to thinking. I thought "how the HELL could I manage to do this alone?" I mean really, with a very fussy baby, no close friends, family 45 mins away, if I were to be a single Mom with a newborn, yes I would get thru it, but I now how a profound respect for women who are strong enough emotionally and physically to do what it sometimes takes 3 people to do for our Leah.
That being said, I never knew how much I could love a man that is so compassionate, so caring and patient with me and our screaming mimi. I am in awe every day of how I wound up with such a loving and understanding man. I have learned more about myself these past months than I have in my entire lifetime and (now that my hormones are more under control) it's nice to have him right by my side encouraging me to embrace myself and let me transition into a new self that is foriegn to me...a sweet and patient person who wants to do good in the world. Its odd, as soon as I delivered our daughter I had a sweeping sense of "mother earth" come over me...like I'd been spritzed with a nuturing mist or something. It will be interesting to see what new ideas come from that!
Anywho, here are some pics
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Our Leah finally arrived!
I suck at multi tasking, so, sorry for the lateness!
I delivered our little Leah at home on Thursday, Nov 20th at 10:33am. She weighed 8.5 lbs, 22.25 inches long and is by FAR the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.
I have to start by saying I had major fears about the pain of childbirth, the fear of doing it at home, no hospital, no pain meds, nothing but the power of thought and guidance of my amazing husband to see us thru it. I would not of been able to go thru 14 hours of natural labor with out him. This is the first time in my life that I have gone completely thru with an incredibly difficult event, and I can honestly say I feel like a completely new woman. Confident and strong. Now on with the fun details!
I started having mild contractions on Tuesday, continuing onto Wednesday, and I wrote each one down and they MAJORLY kickstarted after we popped in the movie "Tropic Thunder" and had our midwife come over and check my cervix to see what it was at; 3 cm 50% effaced. Wew hew. So she went home and came back after she had some supper. By then the contractions were reeeeally kicking in, and coming about every 3 mins. And they got worse and worse, and more and more on top of each other. We walked, we swayed, layed down, stood up, you name it, I tried it...to relieve some pain. About 3am we went outside and walked around and I could actually get thru the contractions by leaning on Jason's shoulders. It was about oh...50 degree's or so outside and I was not cold by any means. I took about 5 hot showers, and by this time I could not eat, and began throwing up. I threw up thru a contraction, that was fun! That actually broke my water, and the contractions continued. By 7am (12 hours later) I was dehydrated, fatigued, beyond pissed that it was taking my body SO long to progress...and then...8 cm....9cm...into the birthing tub I go! My midwife checks me again, and resets the remainder of the cervix around Leah's head and I start to push. I was on my hands and knees making very um...demonic...sounds while pushing but thats all I could do to feel any progress. I pushed and her head would come out, I would breath, it would go back in. Finally I pushed a good one to where her head was completly out and then within a flash they had me stand up, waddle over to the foam pad in the hall on my back and push again to get past the shoulders. It took one push and our beatuiful baby was up ontop of my stomach wide eyed and bewildered. My midwife had to suck fluids out of her lungs with some tubing as she had passed merconium in the womb. We got her warmed up and I got to our bed and fell in love.
View pics here :)
http://www.ourleah.shutterfly.com
I delivered our little Leah at home on Thursday, Nov 20th at 10:33am. She weighed 8.5 lbs, 22.25 inches long and is by FAR the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.
I have to start by saying I had major fears about the pain of childbirth, the fear of doing it at home, no hospital, no pain meds, nothing but the power of thought and guidance of my amazing husband to see us thru it. I would not of been able to go thru 14 hours of natural labor with out him. This is the first time in my life that I have gone completely thru with an incredibly difficult event, and I can honestly say I feel like a completely new woman. Confident and strong. Now on with the fun details!
I started having mild contractions on Tuesday, continuing onto Wednesday, and I wrote each one down and they MAJORLY kickstarted after we popped in the movie "Tropic Thunder" and had our midwife come over and check my cervix to see what it was at; 3 cm 50% effaced. Wew hew. So she went home and came back after she had some supper. By then the contractions were reeeeally kicking in, and coming about every 3 mins. And they got worse and worse, and more and more on top of each other. We walked, we swayed, layed down, stood up, you name it, I tried it...to relieve some pain. About 3am we went outside and walked around and I could actually get thru the contractions by leaning on Jason's shoulders. It was about oh...50 degree's or so outside and I was not cold by any means. I took about 5 hot showers, and by this time I could not eat, and began throwing up. I threw up thru a contraction, that was fun! That actually broke my water, and the contractions continued. By 7am (12 hours later) I was dehydrated, fatigued, beyond pissed that it was taking my body SO long to progress...and then...8 cm....9cm...into the birthing tub I go! My midwife checks me again, and resets the remainder of the cervix around Leah's head and I start to push. I was on my hands and knees making very um...demonic...sounds while pushing but thats all I could do to feel any progress. I pushed and her head would come out, I would breath, it would go back in. Finally I pushed a good one to where her head was completly out and then within a flash they had me stand up, waddle over to the foam pad in the hall on my back and push again to get past the shoulders. It took one push and our beatuiful baby was up ontop of my stomach wide eyed and bewildered. My midwife had to suck fluids out of her lungs with some tubing as she had passed merconium in the womb. We got her warmed up and I got to our bed and fell in love.
View pics here :)
http://www.ourleah.shutterfly.com
Monday, November 17, 2008
5 days overdue; guess its time for my mind to get settled in what's about to happen [eventually]
I came across this statement today
I instantly imagined the hardest part of labor, the intense pressure, the painful contractions, and the fear of it all trying to engulf me...and making this statement a prominate thing I think about could help me. Might help me re-establish the "your body was made for this, the instant you have her it will all be worth it" thought that I'm going for. I am going at this knowing there is no epidural, nothing to "take the edge off". My pain relief will come from my brain, my breath, and the love of my life guiding me thru it all. I am nervous, but only curiously nervous. Of what my body and mind are capable of. I can't wait to experience it, and to finally meet our Leah.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have left
I instantly imagined the hardest part of labor, the intense pressure, the painful contractions, and the fear of it all trying to engulf me...and making this statement a prominate thing I think about could help me. Might help me re-establish the "your body was made for this, the instant you have her it will all be worth it" thought that I'm going for. I am going at this knowing there is no epidural, nothing to "take the edge off". My pain relief will come from my brain, my breath, and the love of my life guiding me thru it all. I am nervous, but only curiously nervous. Of what my body and mind are capable of. I can't wait to experience it, and to finally meet our Leah.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Something wonderful...change.
This was fowarded to me, too good not to post.
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
Friends,
Who among us is not at a loss for words? Tears pour out. Tears of joy. Tears of relief. A stunning, whopping landslide of hope in a time of deep despair.
In a nation that was founded on genocide and then built on the backs of slaves, it was an unexpected moment, shocking in its simplicity: Barack Obama, a good man, a black man, said he would bring change to Washington, and the majority of the country liked that idea. The racists were present throughout the campaign and in the voting booth. But they are no longer the majority, and we will see their flame of hate fizzle out in our lifetime.
There was another important "first" last night. Never before in our history has an avowed anti-war candidate been elected president during a time of war. I hope President-elect Obama remembers that as he considers expanding the war in Afghanistan. The faith we now have will be lost if he forgets the main issue on which he beat his fellow Dems in the primaries and then a great war hero in the general election: The people of America are tired of war. Sick and tired. And their voice was loud and clear yesterday.
It's been an inexcusable 44 years since a Democrat running for president has received even just 51% of the vote. That's because most Americans haven't really liked the Democrats. They see them as rarely having the guts to get the job done or stand up for the working people they say they support. Well, here's their chance. It has been handed to them, via the voting public, in the form of a man who is not a party hack, not a set-for-life Beltway bureaucrat. Will he now become one of them, or will he force them to be more like him? We pray for the latter.
But today we celebrate this triumph of decency over personal attack, of peace over war, of intelligence over a belief that Adam and Eve rode around on dinosaurs just 6,000 years ago. What will it be like to have a smart president? Science, banished for eight years, will return. Imagine supporting our country's greatest minds as they seek to cure illness, discover new forms of energy, and work to save the planet. I know, pinch me.
We may, just possibly, also see a time of refreshing openness, enlightenment and creativity. The arts and the artists will not be seen as the enemy. Perhaps art will be explored in order to discover the greater truths. When FDR was ushered in with his landslide in 1932, what followed was Frank Capra and Preston Sturgis, Woody Guthrie and John Steinbeck, Dorothea Lange and Orson Welles. All week long I have been inundated with media asking me, "gee, Mike, what will you do now that Bush is gone?" Are they kidding? What will it be like to work and create in an environment that nurtures and supports film and the arts, science and invention, and the freedom to be whatever you want to be? Watch a thousand flowers bloom! We've entered a new era, and if I could sum up our collective first thought of this new era, it is this: Anything Is Possible.
An African American has been elected President of the United States! Anything is possible! We can wrestle our economy out of the hands of the reckless rich and return it to the people. Anything is possible! Every citizen can be guaranteed health care. Anything is possible! We can stop melting the polar ice caps. Anything is possible! Those who have committed war crimes will be brought to justice. Anything is possible.
We really don't have much time. There is big work to do. But this is the week for all of us to revel in this great moment. Be humble about it. Do not treat the Republicans in your life the way they have treated you the past eight years. Show them the grace and goodness that Barack Obama exuded throughout the campaign. Though called every name in the book, he refused to lower himself to the gutter and sling the mud back. Can we follow his example? I know, it will be hard.
I want to thank everyone who gave of their time and resources to make this victory happen. It's been a long road, and huge damage has been done to this great country, not to mention to many of you who have lost your jobs, gone bankrupt from medical bills, or suffered through a loved one being shipped off to Iraq. We will now work to repair this damage, and it won't be easy.
But what a way to start! Barack Hussein Obama, the 44th President of the United States. Wow. Seriously, wow.
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
Friends,
Who among us is not at a loss for words? Tears pour out. Tears of joy. Tears of relief. A stunning, whopping landslide of hope in a time of deep despair.
In a nation that was founded on genocide and then built on the backs of slaves, it was an unexpected moment, shocking in its simplicity: Barack Obama, a good man, a black man, said he would bring change to Washington, and the majority of the country liked that idea. The racists were present throughout the campaign and in the voting booth. But they are no longer the majority, and we will see their flame of hate fizzle out in our lifetime.
There was another important "first" last night. Never before in our history has an avowed anti-war candidate been elected president during a time of war. I hope President-elect Obama remembers that as he considers expanding the war in Afghanistan. The faith we now have will be lost if he forgets the main issue on which he beat his fellow Dems in the primaries and then a great war hero in the general election: The people of America are tired of war. Sick and tired. And their voice was loud and clear yesterday.
It's been an inexcusable 44 years since a Democrat running for president has received even just 51% of the vote. That's because most Americans haven't really liked the Democrats. They see them as rarely having the guts to get the job done or stand up for the working people they say they support. Well, here's their chance. It has been handed to them, via the voting public, in the form of a man who is not a party hack, not a set-for-life Beltway bureaucrat. Will he now become one of them, or will he force them to be more like him? We pray for the latter.
But today we celebrate this triumph of decency over personal attack, of peace over war, of intelligence over a belief that Adam and Eve rode around on dinosaurs just 6,000 years ago. What will it be like to have a smart president? Science, banished for eight years, will return. Imagine supporting our country's greatest minds as they seek to cure illness, discover new forms of energy, and work to save the planet. I know, pinch me.
We may, just possibly, also see a time of refreshing openness, enlightenment and creativity. The arts and the artists will not be seen as the enemy. Perhaps art will be explored in order to discover the greater truths. When FDR was ushered in with his landslide in 1932, what followed was Frank Capra and Preston Sturgis, Woody Guthrie and John Steinbeck, Dorothea Lange and Orson Welles. All week long I have been inundated with media asking me, "gee, Mike, what will you do now that Bush is gone?" Are they kidding? What will it be like to work and create in an environment that nurtures and supports film and the arts, science and invention, and the freedom to be whatever you want to be? Watch a thousand flowers bloom! We've entered a new era, and if I could sum up our collective first thought of this new era, it is this: Anything Is Possible.
An African American has been elected President of the United States! Anything is possible! We can wrestle our economy out of the hands of the reckless rich and return it to the people. Anything is possible! Every citizen can be guaranteed health care. Anything is possible! We can stop melting the polar ice caps. Anything is possible! Those who have committed war crimes will be brought to justice. Anything is possible.
We really don't have much time. There is big work to do. But this is the week for all of us to revel in this great moment. Be humble about it. Do not treat the Republicans in your life the way they have treated you the past eight years. Show them the grace and goodness that Barack Obama exuded throughout the campaign. Though called every name in the book, he refused to lower himself to the gutter and sling the mud back. Can we follow his example? I know, it will be hard.
I want to thank everyone who gave of their time and resources to make this victory happen. It's been a long road, and huge damage has been done to this great country, not to mention to many of you who have lost your jobs, gone bankrupt from medical bills, or suffered through a loved one being shipped off to Iraq. We will now work to repair this damage, and it won't be easy.
But what a way to start! Barack Hussein Obama, the 44th President of the United States. Wow. Seriously, wow.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
39 weeks tommorow
And tommorow we find out who will change the future of the US.
Big day on both fronts I dare say!
So, I've been thinking of all the things to come. How my life has already changed in the past year, how much change I want to happen, and how AMAZING it is going to be to experience it all.
I have to admit, the whole "economic crisis" thing has been a bit of a downer. Sadly, it put my husband out of a job. I was FREAKING OUT for a good little bit, but as of late...I've figured out that it's going to work out and it's not worth the wasted energy. All I need is love and support from my amazing husband and we'll make it thru.
So onto the upcoming labor. I don't know if i've mentioned it on this blog or not, but we are planning on having Leah at home with our midwife. We already have the birthing tub set up in Leah's room and we're just waiting on her to arrive. I have to admit, I was scared of the pain of it all. Scared that I couldn't do it. What i've realized...is that this is what my (and all women's bodies) are designed for. I am blessed to be able to experience it. I'm reading a interesting book on natural labor and she makes a great point in saying "every other pain you experience in your life is non productive, and you tend to run away or take something to ease it (epidural etc) but what you dont realize...is that your body is doing what it is supposed to, and that you are not being harmed. If you just let yourself go with it, it will be one of the most powerful experiences in your life"
I'll have to make a post after I experience it all and see if I still feel the same way lol!
So, here's to upcoming changes and positive thoughts. I'll update as new news comes.
Big day on both fronts I dare say!
So, I've been thinking of all the things to come. How my life has already changed in the past year, how much change I want to happen, and how AMAZING it is going to be to experience it all.
I have to admit, the whole "economic crisis" thing has been a bit of a downer. Sadly, it put my husband out of a job. I was FREAKING OUT for a good little bit, but as of late...I've figured out that it's going to work out and it's not worth the wasted energy. All I need is love and support from my amazing husband and we'll make it thru.
So onto the upcoming labor. I don't know if i've mentioned it on this blog or not, but we are planning on having Leah at home with our midwife. We already have the birthing tub set up in Leah's room and we're just waiting on her to arrive. I have to admit, I was scared of the pain of it all. Scared that I couldn't do it. What i've realized...is that this is what my (and all women's bodies) are designed for. I am blessed to be able to experience it. I'm reading a interesting book on natural labor and she makes a great point in saying "every other pain you experience in your life is non productive, and you tend to run away or take something to ease it (epidural etc) but what you dont realize...is that your body is doing what it is supposed to, and that you are not being harmed. If you just let yourself go with it, it will be one of the most powerful experiences in your life"
I'll have to make a post after I experience it all and see if I still feel the same way lol!
So, here's to upcoming changes and positive thoughts. I'll update as new news comes.
Monday, September 29, 2008
34 week belly pics!
Lot's O stuff's been happening in the Setter's household...but this weekend Jason took some wonderful pictures of me and Leah outside our house. Thought I'd share with the world :)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
9 more weeks...9 more weeks...HORMONES BE DAMMED...9 more weeks.
It's wednesday. Finally. I am so glad it finally came.
Yesterday was my 25th birthday. I took the day off from work (I never work on my birthday!) and thought I'd have a nice relaxing day off. That just wasn't going to happen apparently.
I woke up after my husband left for work and made some breakfast, and fired up the computer. I looked at some porn. It's my birthday dammit, if I want to look at porn at 7 am, I sure as hell can, right? So anyways, I get done with that...and I think...O! I can go get my license updated (new address/new last name) today! So I went on the hunt for our marriage license. I chatted with DH trying to find it and he says to look in the filing cabinet. I open the sucker up, and the FIRST thing I see is a old love note from his ex. Ahh yes. I read it. It was horrid, and it actually made me feel better. Told DH this and he says WHY DID YOU READ THAT?!? Well because I keep finding shit that you havent gone thru and thrown away. Thats why. So I cried a bit, crumpled the stupid piece of paper up and threw it and hopped into the shower to let my hormones calm down.
I get out of the shower and realize that I want a haircut. It's tuesday, should be simple to find an empty salon. SO I drive down to a salon I remembered that looked nice. Pamper myself a bit. So I walk up to the doors, their locked. I look at the hours, they open at 9, its 9:30. I think well maybe this isn't their main entrance. I go to the front doors and just as I arrive I see a woman run to the doors, LOCK THEM, and run off. I thought...well maybe she unlocked them? Oh, no, she didn't. So I flipped her off and cried. Stomped back to my car, and drove across the street to a salon school. I figure they are always needing customers...guine pigs....whatever. So I walk in, and they have a guest speaker till 12:30. Im meeting DH for lunch then...so thats a no go as well. I get back in my car and cry some more. I decide ohhhh kay I need to calm down. I'll go look for some maternity clothes on sale at Old Navy. I walk into the store not making eye contact with anyone, as I've already got a head cold/allergy thing going on, red eyes and snorting god knows what kind of snott continuously into my nose. So I go back to the section and start looking. Turns out...XL is not a popular size...for PREGNANT WOMEN. So I call my dad to try to keep calm and he asks whats wrong and I can feel the tears just welling up again, tell him I gotta go and I just bawl right there inbetween the small shirts on sale, whiping my snot on them in defiance. Take that, you abnormally small pregnant women.
So I walk out and decide, I STILL want a haircut. I drive around a bit, go to a crappy salon with a bitch of a stylist in there that is preturbed with my unsure answer of what I wanted to do with my hair. I'm already hormonal, I dont need your attitutde, so I left. Went across the street to another one and every SINGLE person in there was busy. Found one that could work on my hair in 30 mins. Ok fine. So i sit outside her door and got to listening to her. She was perky, sorority girl, paris hilton, LIKE OH MY GOD, giggle, kind of girl. Thats awesome for her, but god dammit i wasnt in the mood for conversation by then. So I got up and left.
I started to drive down by my midwife, thought maybe there'd be more options down there, went to a town square thingy and found a barber shop. Thought what the hell, i'll go in. I go in and this tall redheaded fabulous man shook my hand and offered me a water and took damn good care of me and my hair.
Im thinking, awesome, my day is finally gotten better. YAY! I drive up and meet DH for lunch, have some great chinese food and I get myself some new makeup at a store afterwords. I still want something nice to wear for tonight, so I get back home, put on the make up, go take care of the driver's license info stuff, find a beautiful purple shirt at Ross, go back home, take a shower because my makeup SUCKED (or rather the application I did sucked) got ready and nearly passed the hell out before DH got home.
So DH gets home, im looking fabulous, and he's complimenting me and we're flirting, life's good! We have reservations at 6:30....and my parents arent there yet. They finally show up, we get to the general area of where the resturant is, and no body knows where the fuck it is, except me. And i dont trust my shady memory. Anyways, we finally find it after calling them twice. We get there, get a tour that I cant hear, the hostess cared not. We get in to our table and we cant hear shit because of the loud table ajacent. Food was expensive and wasn't good at all. The bathroom was the only redeeming factor, I stayed in there and cracked up at the things they had on the wall. They had a bra from the 1950's complelty filled out and framed, funny advertisements from the era, it was all hilarious and I later showed my mom and we just stayed in there and laughed.
At the end of the meal DH gets really excited and shares his suprise for us. "I want to take you to the Gaylord and walk around" I force a smile and supress the urge to tell him what my hormones think. He catches the vibe and asks whats wrong. "We've been there before, not really much to see, and I'm worn out from all the walking this morning" ..." We have?"...."Yes, but we can go watch a movie or something"
So my parents pay for the meal, during which they ask me if they had given me birthday money already, I say no, (I had asked for money to buy a fridge for my bday, but instead they exchanged it for DH working on their computer) and she says oh well, I put some money in the card just in case. Cool.
We get to the movie theaters, movie started an hour ago, next one's not till 10. Fuck me. I have DH look up other theathers, same thing. So we're driving back to our house and I just fucking loose it. Tears streaming, snot snorting, tantrum. Its my goddamn 25th birthday, no suprises, no fun, crappy food, crappy rainey day, crappy sickness, and I cant do shit about it but smile and be greatful for what I have. My hormones just we'rent going to be silent about it any longer apparently. I felt like a complete greedy bitch. I shimmy down in my seat and try to stop crying, everyone in the car is trying to be understanding. "Want some ice cream?" ..."No I cant have any"....then I realize, FUCK THIS IM GETTING SOME DAMN ICE CREAM. So we go to Milwaukee Joes and get some ice cream. SO friggin good. We go back home and they leave and I sit on the couch and try to just let it all go. Im angry and im hurt and pissed off and thats no way to go to bed with my husband. In bed he apologizes thinking he should of done more, but just him being there was enough for me (well rational me)...hormonal me wanted to be suprised with roses, to find a love poem somewhere for me, to blindfold me and have a bunch of people celebrate my 25th birthday with me, and to possibly get a well thought out gift from him. Hormonal me was hurt. So much so that my stomach was churning and I tried so hard not to vomit. I felt awful. More pissed at myself then anything for the hormonal reactions of the day.
So. That was that. Today's a new day.
Yesterday was my 25th birthday. I took the day off from work (I never work on my birthday!) and thought I'd have a nice relaxing day off. That just wasn't going to happen apparently.
I woke up after my husband left for work and made some breakfast, and fired up the computer. I looked at some porn. It's my birthday dammit, if I want to look at porn at 7 am, I sure as hell can, right? So anyways, I get done with that...and I think...O! I can go get my license updated (new address/new last name) today! So I went on the hunt for our marriage license. I chatted with DH trying to find it and he says to look in the filing cabinet. I open the sucker up, and the FIRST thing I see is a old love note from his ex. Ahh yes. I read it. It was horrid, and it actually made me feel better. Told DH this and he says WHY DID YOU READ THAT?!? Well because I keep finding shit that you havent gone thru and thrown away. Thats why. So I cried a bit, crumpled the stupid piece of paper up and threw it and hopped into the shower to let my hormones calm down.
I get out of the shower and realize that I want a haircut. It's tuesday, should be simple to find an empty salon. SO I drive down to a salon I remembered that looked nice. Pamper myself a bit. So I walk up to the doors, their locked. I look at the hours, they open at 9, its 9:30. I think well maybe this isn't their main entrance. I go to the front doors and just as I arrive I see a woman run to the doors, LOCK THEM, and run off. I thought...well maybe she unlocked them? Oh, no, she didn't. So I flipped her off and cried. Stomped back to my car, and drove across the street to a salon school. I figure they are always needing customers...guine pigs....whatever. So I walk in, and they have a guest speaker till 12:30. Im meeting DH for lunch then...so thats a no go as well. I get back in my car and cry some more. I decide ohhhh kay I need to calm down. I'll go look for some maternity clothes on sale at Old Navy. I walk into the store not making eye contact with anyone, as I've already got a head cold/allergy thing going on, red eyes and snorting god knows what kind of snott continuously into my nose. So I go back to the section and start looking. Turns out...XL is not a popular size...for PREGNANT WOMEN. So I call my dad to try to keep calm and he asks whats wrong and I can feel the tears just welling up again, tell him I gotta go and I just bawl right there inbetween the small shirts on sale, whiping my snot on them in defiance. Take that, you abnormally small pregnant women.
So I walk out and decide, I STILL want a haircut. I drive around a bit, go to a crappy salon with a bitch of a stylist in there that is preturbed with my unsure answer of what I wanted to do with my hair. I'm already hormonal, I dont need your attitutde, so I left. Went across the street to another one and every SINGLE person in there was busy. Found one that could work on my hair in 30 mins. Ok fine. So i sit outside her door and got to listening to her. She was perky, sorority girl, paris hilton, LIKE OH MY GOD, giggle, kind of girl. Thats awesome for her, but god dammit i wasnt in the mood for conversation by then. So I got up and left.
I started to drive down by my midwife, thought maybe there'd be more options down there, went to a town square thingy and found a barber shop. Thought what the hell, i'll go in. I go in and this tall redheaded fabulous man shook my hand and offered me a water and took damn good care of me and my hair.
Im thinking, awesome, my day is finally gotten better. YAY! I drive up and meet DH for lunch, have some great chinese food and I get myself some new makeup at a store afterwords. I still want something nice to wear for tonight, so I get back home, put on the make up, go take care of the driver's license info stuff, find a beautiful purple shirt at Ross, go back home, take a shower because my makeup SUCKED (or rather the application I did sucked) got ready and nearly passed the hell out before DH got home.
So DH gets home, im looking fabulous, and he's complimenting me and we're flirting, life's good! We have reservations at 6:30....and my parents arent there yet. They finally show up, we get to the general area of where the resturant is, and no body knows where the fuck it is, except me. And i dont trust my shady memory. Anyways, we finally find it after calling them twice. We get there, get a tour that I cant hear, the hostess cared not. We get in to our table and we cant hear shit because of the loud table ajacent. Food was expensive and wasn't good at all. The bathroom was the only redeeming factor, I stayed in there and cracked up at the things they had on the wall. They had a bra from the 1950's complelty filled out and framed, funny advertisements from the era, it was all hilarious and I later showed my mom and we just stayed in there and laughed.
At the end of the meal DH gets really excited and shares his suprise for us. "I want to take you to the Gaylord and walk around" I force a smile and supress the urge to tell him what my hormones think. He catches the vibe and asks whats wrong. "We've been there before, not really much to see, and I'm worn out from all the walking this morning" ..." We have?"...."Yes, but we can go watch a movie or something"
So my parents pay for the meal, during which they ask me if they had given me birthday money already, I say no, (I had asked for money to buy a fridge for my bday, but instead they exchanged it for DH working on their computer) and she says oh well, I put some money in the card just in case. Cool.
We get to the movie theaters, movie started an hour ago, next one's not till 10. Fuck me. I have DH look up other theathers, same thing. So we're driving back to our house and I just fucking loose it. Tears streaming, snot snorting, tantrum. Its my goddamn 25th birthday, no suprises, no fun, crappy food, crappy rainey day, crappy sickness, and I cant do shit about it but smile and be greatful for what I have. My hormones just we'rent going to be silent about it any longer apparently. I felt like a complete greedy bitch. I shimmy down in my seat and try to stop crying, everyone in the car is trying to be understanding. "Want some ice cream?" ..."No I cant have any"....then I realize, FUCK THIS IM GETTING SOME DAMN ICE CREAM. So we go to Milwaukee Joes and get some ice cream. SO friggin good. We go back home and they leave and I sit on the couch and try to just let it all go. Im angry and im hurt and pissed off and thats no way to go to bed with my husband. In bed he apologizes thinking he should of done more, but just him being there was enough for me (well rational me)...hormonal me wanted to be suprised with roses, to find a love poem somewhere for me, to blindfold me and have a bunch of people celebrate my 25th birthday with me, and to possibly get a well thought out gift from him. Hormonal me was hurt. So much so that my stomach was churning and I tried so hard not to vomit. I felt awful. More pissed at myself then anything for the hormonal reactions of the day.
So. That was that. Today's a new day.
Friday, August 22, 2008
We're movin-we're movin- oh yeah yeah yeah!
We are moving this weekend into our house! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Will post more later...trying to conserve energy. Wish us luck :)
Monday, August 11, 2008
So we're thinking that Kimball would be a pretty impressive middle name for our little Leah. Being as that is where we fell for each other on our first "date". From love, love was made :) Anywho, I found this pic up there online and found it to be quite schnazzy!
We are going to close on our house in TWO DAYS. Im so excited, so nervous, so...too many damn emotions. I'll just be glad when we get our keys and go do a celebratory naked run around OUR house. Thats right, a nudie run. Our neighbors are going to love us :)
Anywho, wish us luck...whomever reads this...we'll need it.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Im getting bigger...and more irritated! YAY! :D
Im 26 weeks pregnant. Time to share preggo comical stories!...
Last night I decide to switch sides of the bed with Jason (so I could feel closer to him than laying on my left side giving him the cold shoulder) anywho, so I have a very used body pillow weaved between my boobs, under my belly and between my legs. Another pillow between the legs, and another pillow for my head. I move a bit and a pillow flys off. I get up to get the pillow, then I gotta pee. I walk around the side of the bed that im not used to and bang my leg against the damn corner post. I cuss all the way to the bathroom and think my bladder's about to burst, and a damn trinkle comes out. So I go to try to get some TP, and it is PITCH dark in there. I loose it. I say [scream really ] a few choice words, slam the damn lighswitch on and say "I WANT A EFFING NIGHTLIGHT IN HERE!!!" as I flush and stomp off to the kitchen to get some icewater to cool off and calm down and cry a bit. Jason walks in and scares the crap out of me and I walk back to bed...well it was more of a tantrum walk. I get back in bed and get all the damn pillows situated again, lay down and then I feel crazy amounts of blood pressure in my neck and face again, like im laying upside down. So I sit back up and then my back seizes up. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!" were a nice version of words I said. Then I proceeded to have a bitch fest to Jason and finally went to sleep.
Woke up this morning to swollen face and fingers...he's SO carrying the next child.
So...I think its time for a *real* pregnancy pillow [and nightlight!] that will um...maybe help keep situations like these from happening LMAO. Im 6ft tall, 250 lbs...so I need a pillow that will keep up with me, and comfort me...any suggestions are appreciated!!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Our baby is a snuggler
So this weekend was emotional, my Gramma passed away quietly in her house with all of us there Sat...her funeral was yesterday and it was ok...she was ready to go. It all gets a bit compounded with hormones.
That being said, Sunday I was laying on the bed and DH had his hand on my belly, then it felt like he was REALLY pressing on it hard and im like WTF are you doing? I felt his hand and it wasnt him, it was her pressing up against his hand. Any time he moved his hand to a different location she would travel till she found it and snuggled up to his hand again. When he told her he loved her she would move and kick.
It was so damn sweet, and it really helped me get my brain back up and in the right spot again. I've got one amazing child and an even more amazing husband.
That being said, Sunday I was laying on the bed and DH had his hand on my belly, then it felt like he was REALLY pressing on it hard and im like WTF are you doing? I felt his hand and it wasnt him, it was her pressing up against his hand. Any time he moved his hand to a different location she would travel till she found it and snuggled up to his hand again. When he told her he loved her she would move and kick.
It was so damn sweet, and it really helped me get my brain back up and in the right spot again. I've got one amazing child and an even more amazing husband.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Back from Louisiana!
This Friday we headed out for Jason's Uncle's house at 3 pm...we got there at 12 am ;) It was a interesting trip up there. We got stuck in a massive traffic jam, to find out that on the opposite side of the road there was at least a 10 car pile up...cars every where, and the ones behind them were not going anywhere and people were out of their cars talking to others. I hope every one was ok. We got to Les and Trish's house and I conked out...woke up the next morning and we got a tour of their city...got to go out and see the "ocean" (its still not an ocean to me if its brown...lol) and picked up some blue crab (they were ALIVE) and boiled them...ALIVE...
But I digress, the next day we went to the Tabasco plant (its on its own island!) and took a tour...and then took a tour of their manicured swamp. And I saw the cutest damn alligator (see bottom pic, he's smiling!) as we were feeding them pieces of bread. We came back home and left about 3pm and got home about 10pm last night. Was a fun trip, but im thinking next time we'll fly there ;)
And we hath pictures!!
Jason & I at the coast of southern Louisiana (Near LaFayette)
Me at nearly 24 weeks
Jason eating blue Crab
Me in front of the Tabasco plant
Jason and I in front of a HUGE Buddah statue at the Tabasco island
Jason and I mugging down ^_^
Oh hai guys!!
But I digress, the next day we went to the Tabasco plant (its on its own island!) and took a tour...and then took a tour of their manicured swamp. And I saw the cutest damn alligator (see bottom pic, he's smiling!) as we were feeding them pieces of bread. We came back home and left about 3pm and got home about 10pm last night. Was a fun trip, but im thinking next time we'll fly there ;)
And we hath pictures!!
Jason & I at the coast of southern Louisiana (Near LaFayette)
Me at nearly 24 weeks
Jason eating blue Crab
Me in front of the Tabasco plant
Jason and I in front of a HUGE Buddah statue at the Tabasco island
Jason and I mugging down ^_^
Oh hai guys!!
Monday, July 7, 2008
A love letter to our baby
Dear Leah,
If I could, I would quit this job, so I could feel you kick me all day long, as I just want to sit here and hold my belly constantly. I've started to learn when you kick and why you move, your personality is developing and every day I fall more in love with you, with out even meeting you yet. You are so incredible, so strong, so at peace at just inside my belly. I worry, you reassure me. I am down, you jump and I smile. You are only 22 weeks old and already you have a big impact on mine and your Daddy's life. You should see the way he talks to you and about you. The look of love in his eyes when he is reminded that you are there, the way he smiles when he looks up at me after talking to you, is something I can't even describe, just know that simply because you are here, that our love created you, has only created a stronger and deeper emotion between your Daddy and I. There is so much I cant wait to learn about you and from you. Every day I wake up hoping its already November so we can see you, hold you, and watch your eyes explore the new world you are in. But until then, we are patient and we want you to grow and be strong. Just know, you are loved.
Love,
Mommy
If I could, I would quit this job, so I could feel you kick me all day long, as I just want to sit here and hold my belly constantly. I've started to learn when you kick and why you move, your personality is developing and every day I fall more in love with you, with out even meeting you yet. You are so incredible, so strong, so at peace at just inside my belly. I worry, you reassure me. I am down, you jump and I smile. You are only 22 weeks old and already you have a big impact on mine and your Daddy's life. You should see the way he talks to you and about you. The look of love in his eyes when he is reminded that you are there, the way he smiles when he looks up at me after talking to you, is something I can't even describe, just know that simply because you are here, that our love created you, has only created a stronger and deeper emotion between your Daddy and I. There is so much I cant wait to learn about you and from you. Every day I wake up hoping its already November so we can see you, hold you, and watch your eyes explore the new world you are in. But until then, we are patient and we want you to grow and be strong. Just know, you are loved.
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Sonogram pics!!! (Its a....)
Since I am a slacker it seems...I thought I'd update today (oh its only 5 days, right?) from last thursdays visit.
We found out...a huge suprise! All this time we thought the baby was a boy. NOPE.
She's all girl!
She checked out fine, the sono guy measured every single thing on her, and put my due date still at November 12th.
She's been moving a whole lot lately...until the time for us to see her, then she squinched up into a little hedgehog roll.
I'll say this...I cant WAIT for November! But for now...I cant wait to feel her kick from the outside.
Here's a couple of sonogram pics:
(Figured it would help to show what's what since the quality of the sonogram wasn't...spectacular)
This one is of her acting like her Momma. Yes, thats her feet OVER her head! She had a lot of room in there, and she's curled up in a ball in the corner and wouldnt budge. Also, thats not a profile of her face, her head is turned...so no she doesn't have freaky nose eyes lol!
(Figured it would help to show what's what since the quality of the sonogram wasn't...spectacular)
This one is of her acting like her Momma. Yes, thats her feet OVER her head! She had a lot of room in there, and she's curled up in a ball in the corner and wouldnt budge. Also, thats not a profile of her face, her head is turned...so no she doesn't have freaky nose eyes lol!
So yey! This is our little girl, I'll update...um...as regularly as I do now lol ;) When we get news, you get news! Nice huh?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
17 weeks today!
This cracked me up, had to share it!!
Anywho, we are almost halfway there! How crazy is that??!?
We have another apointment with our supermidwifey Amy on the 19th of June, annnnnd...we are finding out the gender! Well we are also getting married that day yeah, no biggie. hehe :D We are non-traditionalists, so we are signing the papers and such, but will be having a celebratory party in September. Oh and we are also en route to buying a home. Lots of big ol changes and excitement!
So, hormones. Normally (pre-pregnancy) my pms wasn't very bad, just a bit moody for a day or so. HA. That would be wonderful about now. Thats the one thing im having the most difficult time with! Rediculous I say. You would think you could have SOME control of what comes out of your mouth. Nope. No sensor to be found apparently! Poor Jason, I feel so bad for him. BUT- we'll get thru it. We always do :)
Today im having a pretty good day, hence the random posting. I wish some people would leave me comments. I'll bake you cookies. My blog looks so sad with out your comments!
Im guessing I'll post again after the 19th. Till then- have a (kind of morbid) laugh at this too:
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Cool pregnancy story from a forum I belong to
Hey ladies,
I'm on vacation in Colorado without my DH and had to travel by
myself yesterday. From Orlando to Dallas, I was fine. Getting off the plane in
Dallas, however, I was suddenly struck some of the most intense back pain I've
ever had. I've been dealing with sciatica for the last couple of weeks but what
I experienced yesterday just trumped it all. I hobbled down to my connection
gate at the other end of the terminal only to find out that my gate had been
moved and was now just two gates down from the gate I'd just left. I lost it. I
called my mom and started sobbing; I was in pain, I was hungry, I had to pee,
and now, on top of it all, I was about to miss my connection.
I
made it back to my gate with about ten minutes to spare, and collapsed into a
chair. I wasn't sure if I would even be able to get back out of said chair when
they called my group. A man sitting directly across from me noticed me grimace
when I sat down and asked if I was okay. I explained that I was pregnant and
that I was in pretty bad pain. At this point, I was still teary eyed and had
obviously been crying hard earlier. He told me to stand up, and, unwilling to
argue, I did so. He lead me over to a wall, told me point my toes towards each
other, and to bend my knees. I did what he said and immediately felt the pain in
my back and hip go away. I asked him, now crying again, this time out of relief,
how he knew, and he said he was a chiropractor. I stayed against the wall until
they called my group.
I was seated against a window for the flight
to Denver and, without thinking, switched myself to the aisle. I was already
nauseated and I had to pee... again. The man who was supposed to be sitting in
the aisle seat filed in right behind me, and was all too happy to give me his
seat. When he sat down, he asked me if I was in my second trimester (which I
told him I was), and if I had brought water and snacks (which I told him I had),
and then just smiled and said okay. Just after we took off, he reached over and
took my pillow and jacket out of my lap and laid them in the seat next to me,
raised the armrest to my right so that I had more room, and turned the vents on
me so that I stayed cool. He said, "Just relax. We'll be on the ground in about
eighty minutes." I was so grateful that I could barely express it. I fell asleep
almost immediately and when I awoke, I asked him if he had kids. He said no, but
he was in the business of babies; he was an obstetrician.
I was
2500 miles from home, away from my mother, my husband, and my family. I was
sick, tired, in pain, and embarressed that I was sobbing in an airport full of
strangers. I never found out either one of their names, my chiropractor or my
obstretrician, but God knows, and somehow, He sent me my mother's care, my
husband's worry, and my family's remedies on an airplane.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
15 weeks tommorow.
Evidently I forgot to come back and finish my last post. Such a cliffhanger writer am I!?!
Right, so anyways the midwife (Amy Allred) is wonderful!! We had a hour and a half appointment, and she spent over 2 hours with us, answering all of our questions, AND she found our baby’s heartbeat. Very cool to hear that. At that time the rate was 158 beats per min.
My parents bought us a fetal heart rate monitor for Mommies day, and we’ve listened to it several times…and when I mean several, I mean a lot. I love that sound. Makes everything right in the world. Of course I cant find it on my own, but my wonderful husband can find it in 5 mins flat, that bugger.
To pay for the midwife Jason sold his truck. Insurance would cover a whopping 60% after we paid a $3500 deductible. Oh, no…how bout a big fuck you? The total bill from Amy is 3300. And get this, there is ONE in network midwife in a 60 mile radius from us. ONE. And she is the only one, and works in a hospital. No thank you.
So, an explanation for the lazy posting…I’ve been battling my allergies. And my sex drive. And I’ve been quite antisocial. Easily irritated, emotional, and annoyed.
Not fun times in Abbyland. But, it will get better. Heck in 3 weeks our baby will be 6 inches long (from head to rump) and will be able to hear us. And by that time we will get to find out the sex.
Please accept my apologies for not posting previously, and not posting till I feel better. Just know all is well, and check in again in 3 weeks!
Right, so anyways the midwife (Amy Allred) is wonderful!! We had a hour and a half appointment, and she spent over 2 hours with us, answering all of our questions, AND she found our baby’s heartbeat. Very cool to hear that. At that time the rate was 158 beats per min.
My parents bought us a fetal heart rate monitor for Mommies day, and we’ve listened to it several times…and when I mean several, I mean a lot. I love that sound. Makes everything right in the world. Of course I cant find it on my own, but my wonderful husband can find it in 5 mins flat, that bugger.
To pay for the midwife Jason sold his truck. Insurance would cover a whopping 60% after we paid a $3500 deductible. Oh, no…how bout a big fuck you? The total bill from Amy is 3300. And get this, there is ONE in network midwife in a 60 mile radius from us. ONE. And she is the only one, and works in a hospital. No thank you.
So, an explanation for the lazy posting…I’ve been battling my allergies. And my sex drive. And I’ve been quite antisocial. Easily irritated, emotional, and annoyed.
Not fun times in Abbyland. But, it will get better. Heck in 3 weeks our baby will be 6 inches long (from head to rump) and will be able to hear us. And by that time we will get to find out the sex.
Please accept my apologies for not posting previously, and not posting till I feel better. Just know all is well, and check in again in 3 weeks!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Update and survey
Today's the day!! The day we get to meet our prospective midwife!!! I'll do a review of her on here tommorow...until then, here's a pregnancy survey I filled out and want to share:
1) How old are you? 24.
2) How did you come to find out you were pregnant (what prompted test)? Blood test, then HPT
3) Is your babies daddy in the picture, and what status is your relationship? Yes, and we are not married.
4) How many weeks pregnant are you? 13W1D
5) Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl? Maternal instincts say it’s a boy, dunno yet.
6) How long did you have morning sickness? Didn’t have typical ms, been exhausted for 12 weeks.
7) What is your least favorite pregnancy symptom? Exhaustion, food aversions
8) What is your favorite part about being pregnant? Feeling the baby, watching my love talk to my belly.
9) Do you plan to breastfeed? If at all possible, yes.
10) What is your opinion on elective c-sections and/or inducing early? Not for me, im going natural, but every woman has her choice.
11) How many children do you have/is this your first? This is our first
12) How many children do you want? 2
13) What is your favorite guilty food right now? Pancakes!!!
14) What is the weirdest craving that you have had? Havent really had any weird ones yet
15) What foods make you cringe right now? Bacon, curry, KETCHUP (ew! Used to love it)
16) What smells bother you that never did before? Ketchup, oranges, perfumes, anything bold smelling really.
17) Have you dyed your hair since being pregnant? Nope.
18) How has your sex drive been since becoming pregnant? Very unpredictable unfortunately.
19) When did you start showing? Bout last week…very small bump
20) What is your waist measurement now(inches)? I’ll have to update this, I dunno.
21) Have you had swollen feet/hands? No, but I cant stand barefooted in hard floors very long
22) Do you have pets, and if so are you keeping them? Yes
23) Do you still go to concerts etc.? Yes
24) How is your relationship with the father's parents/family? Good, still havent met his Dad tho.
25) Will your baby have the daddy's last name? YES =)
26) Will you paint babies toenails(if a girl)? No
27) If a boy, will you allow him to play with dolls if he wants to? Sure
28) What is your position on spanking when they are older? That’s a last resort, but im ok with it.
29) What is your stance on immunuzations...yes or no? Uhh..yes!
30) WIll you be a stay at home mom? I’d love to at first, but we cant afford it.
1) How old are you? 24.
2) How did you come to find out you were pregnant (what prompted test)? Blood test, then HPT
3) Is your babies daddy in the picture, and what status is your relationship? Yes, and we are not married.
4) How many weeks pregnant are you? 13W1D
5) Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl? Maternal instincts say it’s a boy, dunno yet.
6) How long did you have morning sickness? Didn’t have typical ms, been exhausted for 12 weeks.
7) What is your least favorite pregnancy symptom? Exhaustion, food aversions
8) What is your favorite part about being pregnant? Feeling the baby, watching my love talk to my belly.
9) Do you plan to breastfeed? If at all possible, yes.
10) What is your opinion on elective c-sections and/or inducing early? Not for me, im going natural, but every woman has her choice.
11) How many children do you have/is this your first? This is our first
12) How many children do you want? 2
13) What is your favorite guilty food right now? Pancakes!!!
14) What is the weirdest craving that you have had? Havent really had any weird ones yet
15) What foods make you cringe right now? Bacon, curry, KETCHUP (ew! Used to love it)
16) What smells bother you that never did before? Ketchup, oranges, perfumes, anything bold smelling really.
17) Have you dyed your hair since being pregnant? Nope.
18) How has your sex drive been since becoming pregnant? Very unpredictable unfortunately.
19) When did you start showing? Bout last week…very small bump
20) What is your waist measurement now(inches)? I’ll have to update this, I dunno.
21) Have you had swollen feet/hands? No, but I cant stand barefooted in hard floors very long
22) Do you have pets, and if so are you keeping them? Yes
23) Do you still go to concerts etc.? Yes
24) How is your relationship with the father's parents/family? Good, still havent met his Dad tho.
25) Will your baby have the daddy's last name? YES =)
26) Will you paint babies toenails(if a girl)? No
27) If a boy, will you allow him to play with dolls if he wants to? Sure
28) What is your position on spanking when they are older? That’s a last resort, but im ok with it.
29) What is your stance on immunuzations...yes or no? Uhh..yes!
30) WIll you be a stay at home mom? I’d love to at first, but we cant afford it.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
We are now...officially...9 weeks! (Rant then...amazement to follow)
What a DAY! It started out with a tornado siren at 2:30 and a nice chat in the bathroom while we waited for it to blow over (no harm done...just some broken tree's and shingles ripped off) Then when we went to go get some donuts before the doctor's appointment...we went to TWO different shops with them both being nearly sold out (only crappy donuts were left!)So we went to McDonalds and I scarfed down a mcgriddle on the way to the doctor, of which we were nearly late! So, we met my parents up there, which was wonderful! They are SO excited. My Dad has never really gotten to experience a pregnancy, so its neat to watch. We rushed up to the office and I went right in, did the usual pee in a cup routine, weighed (I lost 2 pounds...which is good, means im eating and excersizing better she said)blood pressure was taken....all the while im trying each time to get this nurse to smile. She NEARLY did today. Hard case to crack. Parents and Jason came in and the doctor didnt even greet them or shake my parents hands. Thats a big no no in my book. The doctor already has very crappy bedside mannor...but I've been trying to give him a chance. Anyways, (looks like im just gonna get this rant all the way out so I can breath...and look at the beautiful pics taken this time)my parents -curious little buggers- are asking all sorts of questions, and he bluntly answers them in a "im trying to concentrate, shut up" tone...strike 2 with me. Then afterwords, he doesnt say anything to let me know how evertying is, asks me if i have any questions...just leaves. Comes back in and says "everything looks good, see you in 4 weeks" No. No the duck ya wont. Im done with you Dr. Gordon. Your ability to do transvaginal scans of our baby is phenominal, but I deserve MORE. Some bedside mannor that consists of more than the absolute crap you have provided so far. You are 65+? You are bored. I am excited about this, and I need a doc that isnt bored of my excitement. So long mister. Go place your $3000 bill on some other person who can stand you =) Ahh...I feel better. Now for the most amazing thing I believe I've ever seen. Our baby...all 1 inch of her...moved her head, waved her hands, heart beating fast all the while. Our baby MOVED!!! I can not get over the fact that she is moving inside of me...right now...as I type this!!!
Pics:
1)My favorite pic of them all...I just want to kiss this pic every time I see it
2)Little floating angel...halo on the head and everything LOL!
3)And she can also breakdance...look at them feet!
2)I think she looks like a little sheep here or something...
Pics:
1)My favorite pic of them all...I just want to kiss this pic every time I see it
2)Little floating angel...halo on the head and everything LOL!
3)And she can also breakdance...look at them feet!
2)I think she looks like a little sheep here or something...
Monday, March 31, 2008
What a weekend!
Well after weeks of keeping it secret, we finally got to tell my parents in our own unique way on Saturday!
It was my Dad's birthday, and we stayed the night on fri, woke up early to fix them breakfast. While DH was preparing the food, I sneaked off and got a card that I made him by hand.
In the card it said: We've been working on your present for a couple of months now. Its been hard keeping it a secret, we cant hardly wait... (then on a little tag surrounding the sonograms) your going to be a Grandpa in Nov 2008!
Well the goofball didn't pull out the little tag or the sonograms at first lol, so we told him to read the tag attatched to the ribbon...he read aloud "your going to be a Grand...OH MY GOD!!" *tears/hugs/kisses for all*
I remember my handing my Mom the sonograms after Dad read the card, cause she was in shock and she said "your kidding me!!! oh im so happy for yall!!!"
It was beautiful. I couldnt of asked for it to go any better, or for that matter to have any other parents that are as caring and understanding as mine are. This weekend the love of my life was called son in law by my Dad.
Love love love. all around <3
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
We're pregnant!!!
After fatigue, nausua, and tender breasts...and 3 negetive pregnancy tests....
I went to have some blood work done on me to see if I was crazy or not.
Turns out, im not crazy!
I found out on March 6th, and took the day off to celebrate! I drove up to Jason's work and we were both beside ourselves with the wonderful news!
I went to have some blood work done on me to see if I was crazy or not.
Turns out, im not crazy!
I found out on March 6th, and took the day off to celebrate! I drove up to Jason's work and we were both beside ourselves with the wonderful news!
This morning we had our first doctors appointment, everything went fine and I have our 5 week old baby up on my wall.
Weirdness occured last night, as im sure it will be the first of many. We were at SaltGrass Steakhouse and had some AWESOME dinner. I was about 3/4 of the way thru with my monterey chicken (that was mouthwatering!) and all of a sudden it tasted SOUR, like rotten cheese sour!!! We figured my body had enough and was done...mmmkay!
We plan on telling my parents on my Dad's birthday, and we are going to either wrap up a pregnancy test, or a print out pic of our baby in my womb. Not sure yet, but we want to make it special. I'll let yall know how that goes when its time for it.
More updates to come :)
Weirdness occured last night, as im sure it will be the first of many. We were at SaltGrass Steakhouse and had some AWESOME dinner. I was about 3/4 of the way thru with my monterey chicken (that was mouthwatering!) and all of a sudden it tasted SOUR, like rotten cheese sour!!! We figured my body had enough and was done...mmmkay!
We plan on telling my parents on my Dad's birthday, and we are going to either wrap up a pregnancy test, or a print out pic of our baby in my womb. Not sure yet, but we want to make it special. I'll let yall know how that goes when its time for it.
More updates to come :)
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Today's the day!
The day my period is supposed to start!
I never realized how excited I would be to feel very tender nipples and swollen boobs...to be excited about slight nausua in the morning. To also be weary of cramps and wetness below, in fear of the possiblity...of not being pregnant.
The mind is SUCH a powerful thing. I almost want to think my way into being pregnant it seems. Its a bit frustrating to know full well that I might not be pregnant...but im going to constantly reassure myself all day long that I just may very well be.
Jason and I are going to go buy a test tonight.
And then order some more online if it shows negetive lol.
Please wish us positive thoughts!
I never realized how excited I would be to feel very tender nipples and swollen boobs...to be excited about slight nausua in the morning. To also be weary of cramps and wetness below, in fear of the possiblity...of not being pregnant.
The mind is SUCH a powerful thing. I almost want to think my way into being pregnant it seems. Its a bit frustrating to know full well that I might not be pregnant...but im going to constantly reassure myself all day long that I just may very well be.
Jason and I are going to go buy a test tonight.
And then order some more online if it shows negetive lol.
Please wish us positive thoughts!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Pregnancy Symptoms already?
Im not sure weather to be excited...or to poke my mean brain with a q-tip.
I've had hearburn (and I neeever have heartburn) all last weekI've been very tired, like zero energy. My nipples are very tender, but not my breasts. Im peeing at least 5 times a day...compared to maybe 2. And today im feeling kind of sick to my stomach...not a throw up kind of feeling...just that...yucky feeling.
Im really hoping to see a big ol + sign on the pregnancy stick next tuesday...but until then...im...just going to be in a confused hopeful state.
Wish me luck :)
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
First couple of steps
I thought about it a lot yesterday.
Purposely not planning for the sake of letting it happen naturally. Its kind of silly really, trying to purposly go against the grind, its almost like we're little goth kids. But at the same time, I know why we have the mindset we do.
Still, it doesnt hurt to have knowledge, and to be healthy. I decided to go and get some prenatal vitamans yesterday. I made sure it had iron and folic acid. It was kind of funny, when I checked out, I was hoping that the register lady would flash me a smile and wish me good luck or something. Odd, I know, but dammit I was excited! I also got onto whattoexpect.com and found out they have a support website too. Im a very curious person, so to learn as much as I can is not a bad thing.
When I got home, after re arranging some furniture, I asked him to help me with something. I had him open the pills for me. We just grinned at each other. Its a very small thing, but its finally a real step before us...a realization that we're really going to make a baby.
Pretty cool I say :)
Purposely not planning for the sake of letting it happen naturally. Its kind of silly really, trying to purposly go against the grind, its almost like we're little goth kids. But at the same time, I know why we have the mindset we do.
Still, it doesnt hurt to have knowledge, and to be healthy. I decided to go and get some prenatal vitamans yesterday. I made sure it had iron and folic acid. It was kind of funny, when I checked out, I was hoping that the register lady would flash me a smile and wish me good luck or something. Odd, I know, but dammit I was excited! I also got onto whattoexpect.com and found out they have a support website too. Im a very curious person, so to learn as much as I can is not a bad thing.
When I got home, after re arranging some furniture, I asked him to help me with something. I had him open the pills for me. We just grinned at each other. Its a very small thing, but its finally a real step before us...a realization that we're really going to make a baby.
Pretty cool I say :)
Monday, February 4, 2008
Realization
Hi, I'm Abby. Nice to meet you!
I decided to make this blog because of its unique path behind the idea.
Im 24, seperated from a relationship in August, and met the man I've been waiting for all of my life a month later. 2 months later we both realize that we want children...quite badly together. We kept talking about it, long story short, here I am...willing and waiting to have a beautiful baby with the love of my life.
We are a very unique couple. We know what we want and aren't afraid of societies views about it. We are best friends. We are lovers. We are incredibly happy for and with each other and I couldn't ask for a better person to wake up to and go to sleep next to every day and night. We've been together nearly 6 months, and from the first day I knew. I knew that he's what I've been thru hell for. And the best thing is, he feels the same about me.
So we've decided to get off the pill and see what happens. We're not planning a pregnancy. We are letting nature happen, whenever she decides to give us a gift, we will gladly take it with loving arms.
Next Saturday is the day im most likely to concieve. Im buying prenatal pills today to help my body gear up for any possibilities. Im so incredibly excited about this chapter in my life...regardless of how it turns out, im glad I get to spend it with Jason.
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